did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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