He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
