Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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