Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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