Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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