I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
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The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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