Will you blow on my dice?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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