i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
50% drunk capacity currently
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
