he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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