Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
