you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
