I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
