Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
