When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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