Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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