I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
