Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize