I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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