I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
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So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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