Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
