it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
