Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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