There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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