you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We left the knife in your bed.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
