I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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