I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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