i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
