it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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