U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
