That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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