she looked like the bat from fern gully.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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