i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
