You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
