peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize