Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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