oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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