Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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