I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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