I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
