Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
