she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
