dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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