quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
