she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
