i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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