No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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