no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
