I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
