I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize