Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
