If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize