I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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