if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
