is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
