I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
