pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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