the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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