I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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