omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I did not marry a roomba.
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