He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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