I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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