I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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