some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
