Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
