just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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