Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
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I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
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she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick