How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing