mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it