I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
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I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
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I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma