Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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